


In Anticipation

by sierraraeck



Series: Aundreya Chambers [12]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Aundreya Chambers, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Criminal Minds Family, Derek Morgan - Freeform, Emily Prentiss - Freeform, F/M, FBI, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Jennifer Jaraeu, Maeve Arc Reimagined, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Original Female Character - Freeform, POV Original Female Character, Penelope Garcia - Freeform, Slow Burn, Spencer Reid - Freeform, Spencer Reid Angst, Spencer Reid Fluff, The BAU Team as Family (Criminal Minds), bau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sierraraeck/pseuds/sierraraeck
Summary: Series Summary: This is a series following Aundreya Chambers and her experience with the BAU, Spencer, and trying to navigate the FBI as a high-profile criminal. And things get very messy.Chapter Summary: Partially inspired by 8x10 The Lesson. Spencer is stressing about meeting ‘Phone Booth Girl’ and Aundreya breaks down and gives him a pep talk. Story twelve.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), The BAU Team/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Aundreya Chambers [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130924





	In Anticipation

**Author's Note:**

> I love Alex Blake. I do. I want her, and all of the characters, in my fics but I think a 13 person BAU team is a bit excessive. She just doesn’t exactly fit with my series so unfortunately I’ve made the executive decision to leave her out. Sorry. I still love her though. =D

Four weeks and three days.

That’s how long it’s been since essentially cutting all ties with Reid.

Not only had myself and my beliefs reverted back to old ways, but so had Reid and I’s relationship. We were avoiding each other, only speaking when we had to for the case. Neither of us were too proud to allow our problems to get in the way of our job, which was probably the only reason that Hotch didn’t interrogate us or scold us for whatever was going on. 

They were all profilers, so of course they had their theories, but I don’t think any one of them understood the magnitude of what was really going on. What _had_ gone on. Not like Reid and I were particularly easy people to read anyway. 

During this last case, something was up. Reid was acting strange and the rest of them seemed to be in on it, but I had no idea what was going on. I assumed it had to do with his mystery woman. There was a small chance they could have been talking about the new/old dynamic between Reid and I, but I doubted it.

I wanted to ask to be let in on whatever was going on, but thought better of it, remembering that I was no longer someone he confided in, and whatever it was he was doing was no longer any of my business or concern. But just because I wasn't going to ask them for answers to their faces, didn’t mean I wasn’t going to scope them out behind their backs. 

Whenever I approached any door that I knew they were whispering behind, I would just casually stand there for an extra few seconds, seeing if there was anything I could pick up on. I would walk by the same door multiple times if I had to, slowing down each time, all in an effort to pick up just a couple of keywords. The majority of the time, all I got was a ‘Spencer’ here, a ‘she’ there. Super specific stuff. But I hit the jackpot when everyone had been out in the field while Reid and JJ stayed behind to work on the geographical profile.

“... Phone booth girl?” JJ asked. That quickly got my attention. 

“She wants to meet,” Reid answered.

“Wait, you guys have never met? Aren’t you curious what she looks like?”

“It doesn’t matter what she looks like. I mean, she’s already the most beautiful girl in the world to me,” he replied. _I knew it was a bunch of shit when he tried to tell me that he was just making phone calls to her about his headaches._ “It’s just … What if _she_ doesn’t like _me_?”

There was a moment of silence before I heard JJ sit down and ask in a caring but stern way, “Why wouldn’t she like you?”

“Because I’m weird,” Reid answered with no hesitation. “I slouch, my hair’s too long, my tie’s perpetually crooked.”

“Your hair’s fine,” JJ said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. 

Reid's voice was quiet, almost shy when responding, “Really? Thanks. My mom thinks it’s too long. So does my aunt Ethel.”

“Well, you’re not dating them,” JJ pointed out.

“I just - I - I just wouldn’t want to ruin something so special over something so trivial as looks.”

“I think you’re excited but afraid. Seeing her will only make the relationship _better_. Trust me,” JJ said with confidence. I agreed with her in spite of myself, even though I still felt bitter about the whole thing. “When does she want to meet?”

“Right when we get back.”

“Do it,” JJ encouraged. “Don’t psych yourself out.”

“We’ll see,” Reid responded with his classic hesitation, especially when it came to ‘Phone Booth Girl’ as JJ was now referring to her as. 

I leaned against the door frame to announce myself, not wanting to risk being caught lurking outside the door. As expected, they both immediately stopped talking and looked up at me, like I was a parent that just caught her kids stealing cookies out of the cookie jar. 

“Hey, how’s it coming?” I asked.

“Fine, fine,” JJ answered. She revealed the fakest smile, but with knowing eyes, followed by, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to use the ladies’ room.”

I just leaned back out of the room and pretended to go in the direction of the main conference room we’d initially set up in, but quickly turned to follow JJ into the bathroom.

I was so eager to know what she was going to say that the moment the door shut, I immediately asked, “Yeah, what’s up?”

“What do you know?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I know it’s been killing you not knowing what’s going on, and I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed or put it together, but I’m sure you’ve been eavesdropping or doing _something_ to figure out what’s going on,” she didn’t even wait for my reaction before continuing, “He’s going to meet that girl he’s been talking to on the payphones.”

“I know,” I said, confirming her theory. I didn’t know what else to say, but I could tell there was something more to this conversation. “What is it?”

“He’s stressed,” she simply put. 

“Right…” I said. I was confused as to where this was going.

“Look. All of us-”

“Who’s ‘all of us?’” I asked before she could proceed.

“Me, Derek, and Emily. And Penelope of course.” I nodded for her to continue. “We’ve been thinking about how things have been rocky with the two of you lately, and we don’t exactly know what happened, but we _do_ know that Reid has some new woman in his life now and he needs our support.” Her words rushed out, as if she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to get all of the necessary information out before I … what? Stormed off?

“Okay…” I prompted. I still couldn’t figure out what she was getting at. I hadn’t made any snarky remarks or discouraged him from talking to her or seeing her. _Hell! If it was up to him, I wouldn’t know jack shit._

“We noticed that, despite how much we all pressed for information or assured him that things would work out, he still seems on edge.” I leaned slightly forward. She was doing a real good job dragging this explanation out. She let out a heavy sigh of defeat, like if I couldn’t read her mind, it wasn’t worth it. “I just think we all need to support him.”

“Are you saying I _don’t_ support him?”

“No that’s not what I’m saying, I’m just merely-”

“No. That _is_ what you’re saying,” I said, somehow keeping my voice normal and neutral, but cocking my head to one side. “But I do support him. I haven’t made any efforts otherwise. Plus, he doesn’t really seem like he wants me in his business and I respect those boundaries.”

“Okay,” she said a little harshly, eyes wide and arms crossed.

I could tell she wasn’t convinced so I followed with, “Seriously, JJ. I don’t have a problem with his personal choices. I don’t care what he decides to do, or who he decides to talk to in his free time.”

“Exactly. You _don’t_ care,” she huffed. _What the hell?_

“And _you_ don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” this caught her off guard and I could tell her face switched to one of concentration, profiling concentration, so I finished with, “ _I’m_ fine with his choices, _he’s_ fine with his choices, everything’s _fine_. There’s nothing to worry about, he has my support or respect or whatever it is you came in here looking for.”

“Great,” she said, obviously still incredulous and exited the bathroom.

I followed right after, following her into the conference room to catch up on the case.

* * *

I had a tough time focusing because I was paying more attention to Reid and mulling over JJ’s words, trying to find hidden meanings behind them. But before I could further my silent investigations, the vital question to all of this jumped into my head.

_Do I support him in this?_

I couldn’t tell. I felt like my mixed emotions balanced each other out so that I was just feeling … nothing. Thinking about him with another girl didn’t trigger any reactions, and neither did thinking about him sitting at home alone. 

On one hand, I was still hurt and pissed at him for what he did. He was literally calling a girlfriend before and after sleeping with me while helping me over a major obstacle. He made me believe he cared about me, then had sex with me, then basically left. He’d broken my trust, which was very hard to earn, and impossible to regain. 

On the other hand, I figured at least one of us should come out of the whole mess happy. Why not have it be him considering I don’t deserve it and am probably destined to continue my path of pain and loneliness? Or I’d wreck whatever good situation lies ahead of me. Either way, he deserves happiness, and I’m fairly certain he is not going to find it with me, so he might as well find it with her. Whoever ‘her’ is. 

So I didn’t know. Did I support him? Did I not support him? Was I just a neutral third party that couldn’t make up her mind whose opinion was also irrelevant to the matter? Who knows. 

For someone who doesn’t like to dig too deep into her psyche, I’d sure been spending a lot of time holding a shovel as of late. The two sides of my brain played tug-of-war while I was trying to concentrate on saving lives, but luckily, each side got tired and gave up allowing me to focus on the case, but leaving me no where closer to an answer than I was hours ago. 

I continued to go about my work as usual, not going out of my way to avoid him, and not going out of my way to see him. We finally wrapped up our case and boarded the jet, leaving everyone drained due to the late nights the past few days.

I, however, refused to sleep on the jet. I never got any good sleep, and then I couldn’t sleep later, and I didn’t like the idea of the plane crashing down and me not being fully awake and ready to deal with that. Plus, as an ex-hunted criminal, I didn’t like the idea of being vulnerable with a bunch of FBI agents around, even if they were a part of my team.

Clearly Reid didn’t like the idea of sleeping on the jet ride back this time either, because he was sitting in a corner by himself with a cup of coffee and a book. I could tell he wasn’t as relaxed or as focused as he usually was, because it took him longer than usually to flip through the pages. After spending nearly a year doing a book swap, I got pretty used to the rhythm of his page turning.

 _It’s because he’s stressed,_ I reminded myself. _He is still worried about meeting that girl, and according to JJ and company, he ‘needs our support’ and you haven’t been too sharing on that front. Maybe you should talk to him._

_At the same time, though, I don’t owe him anything. He hasn’t approached me about it, hasn’t shared any information with me whatsoever, so why should I cross that line? And what good would it do anyway? It’s not like anything I say is going to make a difference._

_But what if it does? What if, even though I’m trying to push him out, not give a single damn what he thinks of me anymore, he still does? Could he still care what I think, what I have to say about… all this? I was basically his ‘best friend’ for a while there, and maybe after everything got complicated, he feels … bad? Well, obviously Aundreya, but like bad in the sense that he feels like he can’t move on without me telling him it’s okay or something? He’ll probably continue to beat himself up over it and then he’ll never be able to enjoy himself and will just stress himself out and wallow in guilt._

_Not ‘probably’. You know him better than that. That’s_ _**exactly** what’s happening, and that’s got to be what JJ was getting at. _

_But what if he doesn’t want to talk to me? What if I just make him feel worse? And why should I care if he’s worried or not?_

_Come on, Chambers. You’re trying to be better and you know it would mean a lot if you just talked to him._

I’d made up my mind. 

I was sitting with my own book and cup of warm tea and wanted to laugh at how, even though we weren’t doing it together, we were literally still doing the same thing we always did. I got up and made a fresh cup of tea, careful not to spill any or cross contaminate, then I set it down next to mine on the small table right beside the couch.

I took a deep breath, and with my book still open and in my hand, walked over to where Reid was sitting before I could talk myself out of it. Without a word or tearing my eyes from my own book, I casually picked up Reid’s coffee mug, then turned around and walked back to the couch. I sat down and put his mug next to the other two. I refused to turn around and look at his reaction. Instead, I just waited for his presence to appear across the couch.

It came soon enough, which I knew it would because he’s kinda a caffeine addict. He reached for his coffee but I slid it across the table toward me so he couldn’t get it. I quickly slid the fresh cup of tea I’d made across the table, practically pushing it into his hand, the whole time continuing to look at my book. I stifled a laugh when he picked up the tea, examined it, then made a pouty face. I took a sip of my own, then set it, and the book, down on the table. 

I sat with my back leaning against the arm of the couch, my legs criss crossed in front of me, facing Spencer head on who was sitting in nearly the same position. Finally looking up at him I whispered, “It’s going to be okay, you know.”

He slowly looked up at me but didn’t say anything, so I continued with, “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it. And it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it with _me_. I just wanted to tell you that she’s gonna love you. She probably already does.”

We sat there in silence for a while, and I was about to pick my book back up again, thinking that he wouldn’t say anything, but then he said, “I just don’t know if I can do this.”

“Why wouldn’t you be able to?” I inquired.

“Because of …” he trailed off but I followed his train of thought.

“Don’t worry about me. It happened. It’s over. I don’t want you guilt tripping yourself out of happiness. I am not worth that,” I whispered, careful to keep my voice low enough the others wouldn’t wake. This wasn’t exactly a conversation I wanted anyone else to be a part of. 

“You are worth that-”

“I’m not.”

“-and I do feel guilty-”

“I know. And I appreciate that but there is nothing either of us can do now except move on. So do that. Move on. This girl, whoever she is-”

“Her name is Maeve,” he blurted. It stopped me right in my tracks. I think I was the first person he gave her name to.

I quickly recovered, “Maeve. She seems right for you. She’s obviously smart, she’s helping the FBI solve cases and she’s keeping up with you, and you, you seem … you seem … you’re _happy_ . You get that goofy smile on your face when you _talk_ about her. When you _think_ about her. When _other_ people talk about her. I know it’s in your nature to worry, but seriously, I don’t think you have anything to worry _about_.”

“Thank you,” he said. 

“What else?” I asked. There was more but I knew he felt awkward opening up to me about it because … well.

“Huh?”

“What else is going through your mind? I know you need to get something off of your chest and remember, we used to tell each other everything before things got complicated. That wouldn’t be a bad place to return to…” I offered, hopeful he’d be okay with that. 

He gave me a small smile and said, “I’d like that.”

It was odd but I was relieved. I don’t know why there would have been any pressure on me to begin with, but I did feel relieved. More and more of the bitterness I felt was dissipating every day, and was continually replaced with the feeling of missing the one person I’d opened up to the most. I wanted that back. I _needed_ that back. “Great. So what else?”

“It’s just - we’ve never met and she wants to meet.”

“Okay, that’s exciting, right?” I asked, testing the waters.

“I mean, yes.”

“But…”

“But I’m nervous. I want her to like me and I’m afraid she won’t once she meets me,” he expressed.

“Spencer,” I started, leaning over the one cushion in between us, “you are an amazing guy. She already likes your personality, and considering how long you’ve been talking to each other, you’re already past all of the small talk too. You’ve already completed all of the hard stuff, and now you just get to enjoy the easy little things, like her hair, her eyes, her smile. As for her, she gets to enjoy your hair,” I ruffled it up a bit, “your eyes, and your smile.” He fixed his hair and flashed me that very same goofy grin I was talking about, golden eyes twinkling. It was honestly a shame he didn’t smile more. “There you go. Flash her one of those and she’s done for,” I chuckled, “Plus, you are a phenomenal judge of character. If you believe that she is worth taking a bullet for, I’d trust that gut feeling. And like I told you when we were first starting to get to know each other: I’ve met a lot of people, like _a lot_ of people, and you are by far one of the coolest. If she doesn’t see that, it is ultimately her loss and her problem,” I concluded. It still hurt knowing that I was encouraging him to continue on with the relationship that almost ended ours, but I could tell it was what he wanted, and who was I to get in the way of that? I had no reason to feel spiteful toward Maeve, she hadn’t done anything to me, and besides, she seemed like she would be exponentially better for him than I could ever be. I was going to have to start coming to terms with that and getting over it. Getting over _him_. But at least I knew we could start rebuilding our friendship and that would have to suffice. 

“You don’t know how much it means to hear you say that,” he looked down at his fiddling thumbs. “I’ve just been sick this whole time that in doing this I would really lose you forever and I didn’t want that.”

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You should do what makes you happy.”

He nodded and I could visibly see the weight being lifted off of his shoulders. I was glad I could be the one to do that.

He took a sip of his tea and scrunched his nose up. This time I had to laugh.

“Oh come on. It is _not_ that bad,” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s just not coffee,” he complained. 

“You don’t drink coffee. You drink caffeinated sugar water with a _dash_ of coffee,” I accused. He just shook his head and set his tea down about to reach for his other mug again. 

“Nuh-uh,” I scolded. The last thing he needed was to be over-hyper and jacked up before meeting this girl. _Maeve_. “Tell you what,” I got up from my seat and grabbed the sugar and honey, “Usually I only put a little bit of one of these in my drink, but because you have the taste buds of a five-year-old child, I will break down.”

He smiled at me and quickly poured a kidney-failing amount of each into his tea. I put my palm on my forehead as he swirled it around and took a sip. 

“See. That is _much_ better,” he commented happily. “You should invest in adding more to yours.”

“Oh no. I am quite alright, thank you.”

“You know you want to.”

“Actually, there’s this really cool thing called blood sugar levels, I’m not sure if you’ve heard of them,” I teased, “but I’m all good leaving mine where they’re at. I wouldn’t want to induce a heart attack.”

He laughed, and I laughed, and it felt good to be laughing together again. 

* * *

“Are you sure?” Spencer asked.

“We’re sure! You go and have fun. The rest of us will finish up for you,” Emily said, and Derek, JJ, and I all nodded enthusiastically. 

“Okay. Thank you,” he said, turning toward the parking lot.

“He’s in a much better mood about this than he was before,” Derek acknowledged. 

“Yeah that’s true,” Emily agreed, “I wonder what changed his mind.”

It was more like a statement than a question, all three of their heads turning to look at me. I shrugged and feigned confusion, “I have no idea. Maybe the _stars_ are aligning,” I said sarcastically, raising my eyebrows. 

Derek rolled his eyes and said, “At least we can always count on you.”

“To what?”

“To be an irritatingly helpful smartass.”

“Wow,” I put a hand to my chest in appreciation, my voice becoming velvety as I wiped away a non-existent tear, “I don’t think I’ve ever been so accurately described.”

We chuckled and entered the office, ready to file some closing paperwork. 

Penelope met us at the doors, hugging us all and offering us special drinks she’d been practicing making while we were gone. 

“Wait where’s Spen - wait! Is he with Phone Booth Girl!” she cheered, not even waiting for a response. “I knew it, I knew it, I _knew_ it!” She giggled then turned to Derek, “How come you don’t take _me_ out anymore?”

“Oh, baby girl, we have so much more fun _staying in_ ,” he returned, smug.

She stepped closer to him and turned her tone from pouty to sexy, “How could I forget? It could have been because I was near blacking ou-”

“Woah!” I interjected. “Some of us would actually like to sleep tonight without the graphic details.”

“That’s the problem. I’m not one for sleeping,” Garcia purred. 

“Dammit. I asked for that one,” I shook my head.

Both Penelope and Derek placed a hand on one of my shoulders, and I’m not shitting you, said at the same time, “Yeah, you did.”

They walked away as I knit my brows together and turned toward JJ and Emily. I put one hand out, gesturing at their backs and mouthed ‘ _what_?’ JJ shrugged and Emily just shook her head in amused disbelief.

As the night was coming to a close and we were all about to leave, a sudden crashing came from the stairs and elevator. We were halted by a stampede of police officers, weapons drawn, barging into the bullpen.

“Everyone put your hands up.”

We quickly complied, looking around at each other for silent answers. There were only the seven of us in the office, but it was the eighth they were looking for. 

A woman, probably 5’8” with short brown hair demanded, “Where is Doctor Spencer Reid?” 


End file.
